10.02.03 :: 11:44 am

I hope to reach the endpoint of this tragicomic "I miss him" phase because the thought of her nasty fake breasts smooshed against him, or her gross hands touching him makes me physically sick.

Of course, I'm talking about my ex.

Some days I wish we could have made things work and he wasn't such a fucking juvenile assbasket.

Because he was the most fun boyfriend-almost-husband ever.

I'm a little bit petrified I may never find that again, whilst he gallavants and cavorts and is the happiest he's ever been.

I swear, I really was not that bad.

If I say I hope he's going through a mid life crisis right now, then I'm an idiot for even entertaining thoughts of getting back together.

But I can't stop having feelings for that stupid motherfucker.

And not hanging out with him anymore is another variation of the "nonstop pain" theme that's been all lodged up in my heart for months now.

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