05.25.04 :: 3:49 pm
And not just because I can finagle you into doing seemingly horrible things, like moving equipment and walking in the rain forever and standing around absentmindedly at Home Depot.
You are my friend because we hate people.
We shall adopt some Vietnamese infants when the time is right because we are domestic partners.
This means me never having to see your dingle, or you my hoo-ha, but making a really rad family anyway.
Also, it means I can talk to you about beaurocratic k-holes and you know exactly what I mean.
We shall make twenty batrillion dollars on our joint screenplay venture entitled "ESSENTIAL PURSUIT" starring Vin Diesel who is trying to uncover a secret lab in the Yukon Territory which implants all of Canada's citizens with a chip that allows them to know all the answer to all the Trivial Pursuit questions.
And the tag line is "SCIENCE AND NATURE, ASSHOLE!"
These things have been documented hereforth because when I am drunk, I will forget why we are friends and I will yell at you about something.