04.29.08 :: 3:18 pm

i am currently being blown away at the fact that i'm approximately 8 weeks away from maternity leave.


I tried my best to state that as a desperate cry to the heavens to make this life transition as smooth as possible.

and i'm in the throes of 3rd trimester crankypantsedness.
ry called me this morning frantic about the location of the half-and-half and i blew the eff up like dude, it's in the fridge? if we bought some that's where it would be? why are you calling me at work for this? don't you EVAH blah blah blah... etcetera etcetera like a crazy person.

because i am a crazy person right now.

i am huge and unwieldy and my body is not working as i'd like it to and my hands are like giant potatoes with giant kielbasas sticking out of them except a thousand percent less delicious

and all i really want is to either live in space or grow gills and live underwater for the next 11 weeks so the pressure on my back diminishes fiftyfold.

can i just say that if i had a cat, all 9 of its lives would be filled with this jack johnson bullshit?

i am going to steal that girl's ipod and erase the hootie & the blowfish/candlebox/3rd eye blind GARBAGE that she's polluting my earholes with.
the 90's were TERRIBLE in terms of "alternacrap" and therefore quite detrimental to the mental health of my unborn son.

Candlebox!!!!!! I'm not joking! What the hell?!

Not to mention the infinity loop it's on!

How can one girl contain so much self-loathing?
I'd take her to Amoeba, but I don't like her bangs.

I told you I was cranky.

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