12.24.04 :: 10:26 am

I dreamed I was having an affair with my dentist.
This is kind of interesting seeing as I don't even have a dentist, but in my dream he was tall and built and had soap opera guy hair.
He may have even been on a sopa opera for real; Bold and te Beautiful, I think. In the late 80's, early 90's.
Anyway, the makeout was pretty hot because he had invited me over to his place for dinner under som sort of retarded guise of me being his star patient.
And his wife was cooking dinner and his kids were running around.
He takes my arm and brings me into the living room and says "Now let's have a look," and before I know it, we're full on rolling around on the floor, sucking face.

So yeah, Merry Christmas.

Man, it's very, very odd being alone during the holidays.
Don't get me wrong, I am so glad to have the house to myself (and all clean) for a long stretch of time.

But it's just weird. Like there'll be days when I don't even talk. Unless it's shouting commands at Stoosh-dog.

That's weird.

Tomorrow, I'm having dinner with my mom at a fancypantsy restaurant of her liking.
I really enjoy this about my mother. She makes no effort or attempt or even cares to stand in a kitchen for several hours.
"For what?" She says. "To cook for only two people? Let someone else do it for me."

Today, I think Stoosh dog and I will take advantage of the clear weather and take a walk up to 7th avenue to window shop.
God knows I'm still in no position to buy anything on a whim just yet.

And later, I'll share my margarita tub with my partner in sarcasm, dancing, drinking, and delights, Miss Ruby de la Foxx.

Right now?
I've still got about 540 more CD's to upload into my computer.

Oh, one last thing. I was reading through my insane archives last night and it's so strange to me now how much I loved Adam, my ex fiance.
I still think about him, of course, because ten years is a long time to know someone... but it's just bizarre how I can't even see myself as that person anymore.

And how I don't see him the way I used to, either.

And I know it's bad to do this but whatever, but when I compare Ryan to him... it's not even apples and oranges. It's like... apples and rudabagas.
With Ryan, I never feel on a constant level orange alert.
I never feel like he's gonna embarrass the living shit out of me in public, or get so blindingly drunk that he takes his clothes off and pukes all over the bathroom.
I'm never nervous that he'll cheat on me while on a trip.

It's so nice to feel calm and passionate at the same time. Didn't think it was possible.

And speaking of awesome possibilities, it's only been two days since I've been using the La Mer face cream and let me tell you... this shit is work the price tag because already, my pores have disappeared.

It's a Festivus Miracle!

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