08.14.03 :: 9:35 am

I think I had twelve margaritas yesterday.

This morning, there is a golf ball-sized bug bite on my arm.

It's metastasizing at an alarming rate.

So, I was browsing through People and they had a story about the hottest young royalty and I've decided that the greatest thing in the world to be able to say is "I'm third in line to the throne," or "I am the future King of England."

Go ahead. Say it out loud. It's totally empowering.

In fact, I am going to use that line today. "I'm not going to take this crap from you. I'm third in line to the throne."

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