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12.11.06 :: 9:36 am
company holiday party today. i've been going to this shindig for six years now, and i'm a pro at navigating the "circuit."
Step 1: enter and veer left towards coat check at a quick pace Step 2: make way to first left, the closest bar Step 3: drink in hand, enter grand ballroom veering right and grab plate Step 4: begin stacking plate at the far right corner of the room, working towards the right, in semi-circular motion (this should take approx. 20 minutes, total) Step 5: exit grand ballroom, turning left towards sushi stations Step 6: leave plate and drink on highboy nearest to sushi station Step 7: grab plate, stack plate with sushi Step 8: Reunite with first plate and drink at highboy Step 9: Eat, drink Step 10: Refill drink Step 11: Drink Step 12: Repeat Step 10 Step 13: Make way to coat check, and get out before any small talk occurs. With this routine down pat, I'm in and out of there in an hour and a half. I'm a pro.
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