12.11.06 :: 9:36 am


company holiday party today.
i've been going to this shindig for six years now, and i'm a pro at navigating the "circuit."

Step 1: enter and veer left towards coat check at a quick pace
Step 2: make way to first left, the closest bar
Step 3: drink in hand, enter grand ballroom veering right and grab plate
Step 4: begin stacking plate at the far right corner of the room, working towards the right, in semi-circular motion (this should take approx. 20 minutes, total)
Step 5: exit grand ballroom, turning left towards sushi stations
Step 6: leave plate and drink on highboy nearest to sushi station
Step 7: grab plate, stack plate with sushi
Step 8: Reunite with first plate and drink at highboy
Step 9: Eat, drink
Step 10: Refill drink
Step 11: Drink
Step 12: Repeat Step 10
Step 13: Make way to coat check, and get out before any small talk occurs.

With this routine down pat, I'm in and out of there in an hour and a half.
I'm a pro.

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