02.29.08 :: 10:08 am

Straight outta Romper Room, 9:15am:

Winnie was eating what appeared to be an apple and she goes,
"Want to try my Grapple? It's an apple that tastes like a grape!"
(cue the horse-whinny laugh)

I ask, "What do you mean? Is it some kind of new hybrid fruit?"
And she goes, "What? I dunno! It just tastes like a grape!"
And I ask, again, "Is it genetically engineered that way?"
And she goes, "It tastes good, I don't know!"
(cue another round of whinnying)

So you're basically eating a food product that has possibly been bred in a lab in some way to taste like something else entirely and YOU HAVE NO DESIRE OR CURIOSITY TO FIND OUT HOW IT BECAME THAT WAY??

She's like a FOUR YEAR OLD.

So I did an internet search and SURE ENOUGH, it's just an apple injected with grape flavoring, and it's marketed towards CHILDREN.

OF COURSE!!! It all makes sense.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the movie "Stepford Wives" except instead of the women around here being turned into perfect wifely robots, they've all had their brains switched with toddlers'.

I just have to make it to July.
Dear sweet Lord.

earlier / next