07.16.07 :: 8:59 am


ok so major culture shock.

Bigwig's 5th Anniversary party was INSANITY.
The mansion they rented out on the beach was sick. We looked up the listing online and it's a 14 million dollar home.
That's first.

Second, the spread was tremendous. And plentiful.

And the booze was free flowing and plentiful. Three huge, fully stocked bars with tons of bartenders.

Then on the beach there were tents set up with white leather beds under all of them.
We got plush towels and lots of other schwag like cute black boyshorts with the Bigwig logo on the ass, and tank tops.

Everyone was playing beach volleyball and laying out and i'm looking around like, in New York... there would never ever EVER be an occasion for me to see my co-workers bathing suit areas.

And then I started feeling really weird. And I mean REALLY.
It may have been that everyone who was frolicking on the beach were all golden gods and goddesses; perfectly bronzed and sculpted. Not an ounce of fat or cellulite or zit anywhere near these people... flat stomachs as far as the eye can see

And then I realized: I have absolutely NOTHING in common with these people.

Save for Stash and Ro, everyone was so "L.A."
And I don't know how better to describe it but it's like ... williamsburg hipster TO THE EXTREME. Stupid scarves and big bugeye sunglasses and idiotic makeup... and that was just the men! The women were even worse!

I overheard conversations so insipid and mind-boggingly RETARDED and yet so shimmeringly DEAD SERIOUS that I thought OK for sure I am being punk'd right now.

I have absolutely nothing in common with the girls here. They are of a totally different breed than I am.
Like, I don't make out with my girl friends to draw attention to myself in public.
And I don't have to talk loudly about taking a whole bunch of "Zan-Zan" (Xanax, I think? Who knows! Retarded!) and going on $5,000 shopping sprees and pissing off my father...

God.
It just made me miss New York.
Right then and there, surrounded by all these airheaded assholes.. the CEO's assistant dumping boxes full of Bigwig-brand CONDOMS on people...

it was just so lame and so retarded.

I didn't even stay for the band because after five hours I really had had enough.
And I don't know how anyone can drink for 8, 9 hours straight...

Anyway.
It was interesting, to say the least.
But I ended up feeling really fucking lonely.

And the last thing I need right now is to start missing New York.

Fucking hell.

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