12.25.03 :: 1:45 pm
I can't quite put my finger on what is making me more depressed, however.
I am definitely feeling the pangs of jealousy and loss. He is with someone new, making her laugh and making her fall in love with him like he did with me a hundred years or so ago.
Say what you will about our relationship, but he was always excellent company; unrivalled in the art of entertaining us both. I am so indescribably sad that I've lost him, despite knowing that it would have never worked.
He was the closest person to me.
And I can't find comfort anywhere, in anything. This isn't even the sort of thing friends can help you with. It just has to go by itself. And waiting around for this sadness to vacate is like trying to watch grass grow.
Everything is on pause. So I run errands.