05.03.02 :: 1:19 pm

The other night we watched an HBO America Undercover episode about a father who takes drugs and parties with his teenaged kids.

I don't know.

Now that I think about it, it's not so much the dad that's fucked up (although he's got so many fucking issues, he needs a magazine rack for them all) as it is the kids who are oblivious to the absolute hilarity.

You guys: look at your dad. Look at him. Closely. He's hanging out with you and your friends, wearing a backwards visor and baggy pants, and making out with high school girls. He is forty. You are hanging out with your loser 40-year-old dad. Everyone is just using him to get beer and drug money. Everyone laughs at all of you behind your backs.

Send the mid-life crisis home, okay?

And please apply to colleges at least seven states away.

Love, me.


It has dawned on me that any food I eat after last night will be piddle in comparison to The Luge. Damn.

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