03.16.05 :: 9:05 am

today is better.
yesterday, after the procedure, my mother gave me a kiss on the cheek and a twenty and told me to buy myself some junk food and a movie.
so i did.
i went to a horrifically bright Target at ten-thirty in the morning, and felt like i was in a movie.
all alone, wandering the aisles, with a copy of Garden State, staring at the multitudes of frozen pizzas behind glass doors.
And I got terribly sad at that moment.
because I was bleeding and hurting from the inside out and alone in a creepy empty Target and the song in my headphones said "your mother's arms will keep you safe wherever you may be," and i kind of just lost it a little bit.
I paid for my pizza and movie, sniffling like a little girl, went home, cooked it up, fired up the DVD, and was feeling better by the time Ryan came over.

i come back in to work this morning, and already my desk has been de-nuded of a mousepad and my lefty scissors.

is this real?
i can only wonder.

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