03.20.05 :: 1:04 pm

i somehow managed to sleep so contorted that i am currently unable to turn my head to the right without shooting pain throughout my neck and back.

i had a dream that i was having sex with a girl (hello!) and when she had an orgasm, her hoo-ha turned into a flower.

also in this dream, Mr. M appeared in a pair of white boxers and nothing else, carrying a McD's bag and joking around with Ashton Kutcher.

later on, i said hi to paris hilton from my apartment window and then pretended to smoke a cigarette so she wouldn't think i was leaning out there all night, waiting for her to walk down my street.

and finally, i found myself in a candle-lit auditorium with a hundred of my closest friends, in a pair of ruffly white underwear, a white tank top, and combat boots.

what a night.

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