09.05.01 :: 11:47 am

"Does it bother you to be pigeonholed?"
"Well, I don't know about any of that, but I'll tell you one thing, I'll put a pigeon in any of my holes. Koo koo, honey."

"What's the secret to your great figure?"
"I don't do any of those crazy fad diets. I have a fantastic regimen I call Clams, Yams, and Spam."

"I had a very long relationship with an inmate once. We corresponded in letters and eventually had the conjugal visits. It was difficult sometimes. And it didn't work out, because, you know, the execution."

Someone please make a movie with Andy Dick. Because I need two whole hours of this man.

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