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2001-05-11 :: 1:43 p.m.
I know there will be those out there who immediately will go "That's so lame," "That's so early 90's," "That's so retarded," and whatever, but I don't need approval for this. I used to be very self-conscious about my nose. It's long. When I was in junior high and high school, my nose would enter a room first. This would make me crazy. I tried all kinds of clever tricks to "minimize" the appearance of the schnoz from hell, poring over insipid ladies' magazines with intriciate makeup tricks involving concealers and highlighters ad infinitum. I was obsessed with the fact that when I stared straight ahead, my nose would block the view. I can't pinpoint the exact date the transformation happened, but it must have been two or three years ago, in college, when it dawned on me that it just doesn't matter. I know, I know, what took me so long? Oh, ew, pardon the pun... but seriously. I still have a long nose. It still blocks my view. Even though there are people who have told me repeatedly that it's "not that long," or that I'm a psychopath, I still know what I know. I see it every day. But blah blah blah self-esteemcakes, I don't need no stinkin' magazine to tell me how to hide my wonderfully prominent proboscis in four "easy" steps. They can go screw themselves. If I ever again wish I could hide it, I give anyone permission to clock me over the head with something very heavy. So I'm going to display my nose, and dress it up. I'm getting a nose ring.
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