02.22.04 :: 5:04 pm
I lost my wallet on Saturday morning right outside my house. It fell out of my pocket and before I realized it, it was long long gone.
I cancelled all my credit cards and bank card right away, but now I'm probably getting my identity stolen via my social security card...
Hopefully the fucker who found my wallet is too stupid or too lazy to figure out what to do with my nine digits.
I'd like to believe in the goodness of mankind and that my wallet is being mailed back to me as we speak, but I'm not that optimistic.
I don't even care about the twenty bucks or the cards or any of it.
I just really really loved that wallet.
Turquoise blue etched leather and red leather on the inside... it was so beautiful. Sniff.
Oh well, life goes on.
So it was a day spent at the 72nd precinct, filling out reports and Mr. M was such a champ the whole time.
He made me laugh and not worry about the whole mess.
And what do people without wallets and a lot of time on their hands do on a beautiful Saturday afternoon?
Well, they walk around with their boyfriend in a cemetery.
Yeah, so we did that for a while, trying to peer into mausoleums and creeping ourselves out when we saw two ancient, rusting, ornate little chairs in one of them.
"Ew, at night, they crawl out of their graves and sit in them!" Mr. M said.
And then we couldn't stop quoting "Night of the Living Dead" to save our lives, so we decided it was time to exit.
That night we went to a party thrown by this artist woman for whom he made a website.
And it was awesome fun. We got loaded on Maker's and ginger ale and danced our asses off.
Today we walked around the park with Stoosh dog. At one point, I let her go so she could chase some squirrels and this lady screamed at me from a hundred feet away, "SADIST!"
At first, we didn't know who she was yelling at or why. But then she screamed at me, "Why don't you let the squirrel bite you, see how you like it!!?"
And then of course my New York Attitude kicked into high gear, and I yelled right back at her, "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? Why don't you come over here at tell me what the fuck your problem is??!"
Mr. M was laughing hysterically at this point, and I'll admit it was really funny because obviously the woman was batshit.
She kept walking, though, so whatever point she was trying to make was completely lost on us.
Then we decided to make it our mission to follow her around the park, Mr. M suggesting we tweak each other's nipples really hard and scream "PLEASURE IN PAIN! SADISM ROCKS!"
But I think we scared her off.
This sadist is going to make a sandwich and watch some VH-1.