03.07.05 :: 9:30 am


Whadda weekend.

I packed a weekend bag and schlepped myself, the dog, and some snacks over to Ryan's place where we watched movies on the pull-out couch and drank wine and generally lolled about like unforgivable sloths.

It was fantastic.
Saturday morning, we decided to air ourselves out so we walked around Beautiful Downtown Park Slope!™ and putzed around outdoor flea markets, drinking extra large teas.

And then the best thing about Ryan. I don’t want to gush too much because I’m still a little scared I’ll jinx the whole dang thing, but he asked if it was okay that he didn’t feel up to going out that night and I said of course, that’s cool, but I think I’m gonna head into the city and drink my face off with Ruby & Friends and he goes “Great! Have fun. I’ll walk the dog and then give you my keys.”

And then he said, “I like feeling that you live here.”

And so I went out with Ruby, and we drank like a million zillion gallons of booze and I got in a cab around two in the morning and let myself into Ryan’s apartment and he was already asleep, curled around Stooshdog under the covers.
I liked that. A lot. For the first time since Adam, I actually genuinely felt like a family.

And I got into bed with my family and passed out in bliss.

OF COURSE I woke up with a shrieking, unforgiving hangover. That is a given. But it was okay. Because I have a boyfriend who never makes a federal case out of me hanging out without him on a Saturday night. And the SPanish Inquisition never occurs on a Sunday. And because he’s the type of guy to get up at six to make a pot of coffee for my angry headache. And because my dog gets sad when he leaves the room.

On Sunday, I went to the supermarket for chicken noodle soup and waffle fries (the only cure for a cold, I swear) and there was more lazing about in front of the tv (why is In Demand so goddamned good?) and making out and being absolutely RIDICULOUS while watching “50 First Dates” by getting verklempt by the sap-fest and then we watched “Deadwood” which is so good, I hope the show lasts my whole damned lifespan and then this morning Ryan said to me
“I’m gonna stay home today and get some freelance work done, but you can leave the dog here with me so you don’t have to walk all the way back to your place.”

And I did.
And I like knowing they the two of them are home together. While he works in his office, she naps in her favorite chair a few feet away.

I like this. I like it all. I like my life with this amazing man who’s funny and kind and generous. And I like my life with all these fantastic friends, like Ruby said, all these really fun, fabulous people:
“Is Doc wearing…cowboy boots?”
“Yes. He’s going through a crisis.”

“It was in a cab like this where you coined the term ‘debutard.’”

“I’m trying to get this phrase into the national lexicon: ‘Well. This is awkward.”


It’s a good, good life. The downs don’t seem so far down when you surround yourself with people who are worth a damn.
Lesson Number One.

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