07.09.02 :: 1:33 pm


I had to turn the A/C on a couple of times this past month. I think our bill is going to make me suicidal.

Had a very fucking odd experience at the supermarket the other day. I was browsing the chips 'n' dip section and I grabbed some plain chips and a jar of whatever, like ranch dip or something. There's a guy rearranging the display who looks at me and says, "This one's better."

And proceeds to hand me another dip. I look at it, it's some kind of sour cream & onion dealie, I mumble "thanks," because I'm so shocked at this invasion of privacy and toss it in the cart without thinking.

I'm about to turn the aisle to get away from Mr. Freak when he says to me "Herr's is the best!" Referring to the dip he just gave me. I smile and run as fast as I can go while pushing a shopping cart.

A few minutes later, I see the dude walking down another aisle and I notice that he's totally wearing a Herr's uniform. This pisses me off... I mean, why are the Herr's people being such Nazis about what kind of dip I eat? Why are they recruiting people to force Herr's dip onto unsuspecting shoppers?

And the best part is, that I snuck back into the chip n' dip aisle to switch back to my original choice. And I did it all stealth and sweaty-like because I was so freaking nervous he would see me and, I don't know, tackle me to the ground, pummeling me into a coma.

I have never felt so self-concious about my snacking habits in my whole life.

By the way, "Herr" means "Mister" in German. Coincidence? God, I should say not.

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