05.26.04 :: 11:07 pm
I'd apply it liberally all over my resume, and then in three days my job would become the job it should be.
I'd smear it all over The Professor and in three days, he'd transform into the man and boyfriend he is so capable of being.
And I'd squeeze it into the ATM and my checking account would metamorphose into a radiant sum, smiling back at me through the screen.
And then, I'd fill dixie cups of it and hand them to my girls, saying, "Make sure you're all covered."
Afterwards, I'd fill a crop dusting plane with the emollient and take a mile-high tour.
Life needs this ointment.
And because I'm feeling odd about things and the twisty, difficult paths I always seem to take, I need to go to bed.