03.17.02 :: 12:17 pm

Friday night started out great because I found the jammy that's going to sit on my head for my wedding, and it wasn't the one in the picture, because the model's head is clearly humongous because when I tried that one on, it was like a skull cap as opposed to the delicate tiny little thing I had envisioned. It was seriously like a helmet. So I was like, okay, what the fuck, the model has hydrocephaly or something, show me something that fits my head ...


presto changeo, I was fitted to a T in this vine-like dealio that snaked under my messy bun and hooked onto a veil and boom, I was transported into that scary BRIDAL WORLD where you can't stop looking in mirrors and twirling around like in a douche commercial, I swear, WHO AM I?

Anyway, we gladly laid our money down, me and my mom, and then upon realization that I spent $_____.00 on some crystals sewn together, I needed several drinks.

The Raven treated me kindly.

And it was good to be gathered with the Nuns at the same time, all together.

And I played Tittie Match and My Boy showed up and it was chicken quesadillas at San Loco later and then I think I lost a part of th eevening.

because the next thing i knew I was sleeping, head in crotch, on My Boy's lap on Lisa's roof with Dirty and a six pack.

But then we moved to the futon downstairs and I passed out, blacked out, to a previously taped episode of "Undeclared."

A good night, indeed.

Now, I am ill, with what feels like bronchitis so instead of making myself worse or dead, i stayed in last night. Watched "Pitch Black" on DVD with Stoli Vanillas and Coke and My Boy, and yeah, I derailed completely by shoveling four Duncan Hines brownies into my face.

Today, back on the healthy living diet.

And Nyquil.

And, in In-Law news, his mother has gone "Greek Crazy" and sent us a care package full of the Greek goings-on in South Florida and a duped video tape of Zorba The Greek.

Zorba. People, this movie won many Academy Awards, I'm aware, but it's also highly stereotypical and offensive to modern-day Greeks.

I called my mother to report to her the bizarre gifting of Zorba the Greek on VHS and my fear that My Boy's mother thinks my family is like that, and, being the wise woman that she is, she laughed and said:

"Koritsaki mou ["my little girl"], your future mother-in-law thinks that when she lands in Greece, there will be donkeys and goats, and little old men with tsandouria ["mini guitars"] playing music and your family breaking glass in the streets like peasants. I'll have a talk with her to tell her the truth."

Well, alright then. That's settled.

Time to watch some mind-crippling television.

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