09.14.03 :: 4:29 pm

A man gave me flowers yesterday.

Granted, it was a drunken man at a party in Hell's Kitchen who gave them to me after saying "You are the only woman at this party with a slim waist. Congratulations."


Cue the deer.

By the end of the night, there were no more mixers and very little booze and the ingredients to the sangria transformed into red wine and brandy. And that's it.

A good time was had, but strangely enough, I've woken up with lower back pain and gluteos maximus muscle pain.

I ask you, what could have happened?

I do not know.

In other party-related news, some people in my building have hijacked my birthday festivities to make the occasion a "building-wide" party.

I have mixed feelings about this. I don't think it's a good idea, simply because I know none of my friends are going to feel like climbing up and down the stairs to various apartments for any reason whatsoever.

Also, I don't like this communist attitude that has made itself very apparent in this building.

I spent half an hour yesterday listening to my upstairs neighbor, Pam, explain that her roommate, Ramon, was feeling like he couldn't have a joint party with me.

I said he could invite whoever he wanted.

Pam said "Yes, but he doesn't want to feel like it's just about your birthday."

And I said, "But it is. It's my party for my birthday and everyone is invited and they can bring other people."

How old are we? I mean, is this my life? These are the types of conversations I am having at age 28?

I continued, "If Ramon wants to have a party of his own, he can do that. If he wants to piggyback onto my party and have his party the same night, he can do that too. But I find it a little weird."

And Pam said, "Yeah, I know, but he's hypersensitive and he just wanted to make sure that this wasn't just about your birthday."

Um, again, I remind you: it is.

It's my fucking birthday? I hate to be four years old about it, but if fucking Ramon wants to have a party, he can get it together and throw another one.

"He wants it to be about everyone in the building."

Good afternoon and welcome to my life in a commune.

In any case, Ramon can eat me. Raw.

earlier / next