11.06.07 :: 8:48 am

holy fuck, this morning i swear to god i nearly killed a woman. on purpose.

long story short, she flipped us off for something she did wrong and something deep inside my brain clicked and ryan had to restrain me because i was opening the door and getting ready

i've been nearly homicidal with rage before but today i crossed the threshold.
i was READY. to violently and aggressively hurt her, possibly render her comatose with a beating.
i was ready to go to jail, in other words.

this fucking town and the fucking people in it.

I hate who I am here: fat and violent.

It's probably a very, very fucking good thing I'm not pregnant right now.
All this seething and hatred would not be good for a growing fetus.

Ten more months.

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