02.11.04 :: 9:19 am

It's borderline absurd how guys crawl out of the woodwork the nanosecond you get a boyfriend.

All you can do, however, is just roll your eyes and smile.

For the non-event of Valentine's Day, I'm making Mr. M a mix cd and writing him something because he thinks I'm a great writer even though he's never read anything I've written apart from the personal ad that lured him into my life.

I don't know what I will write. As always, inspiration strikes me at the most inopportune moments.

Like on the can. Or while doing the deed.

Anyway, is it just me or have the subways been ridiculously off-kilter lately? I swear to God, today the train I was on backed out of a tunnel we were heading into. I thought I was dreaming.

It's only 9:27 am, and my boss is on a rampage of stellar proportions. I don't know how I am going to handle her.

I think I will call the Bronx Zoo, and request some elephant tranquilizers. It's the only way, people. It's the only way.

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