03.14.03 :: 9:47 am

Today's morning subway ride has me full of piss and vinegar.

Because I encountered the most loathsome of all types of New York City tourists. I've seen them before, but I can usually spot them a block or two away so usually, they're avoidable.

Travelling in family packs of five or more, they are the incredibly loud white-sneaker-and-tapered-jeans tourists with the cameras hung from their necks, who, for some reason known only to them and the mind of God, feel the need to inform the entire subway car that they are:

a) lost
b) giddy about it
c) first time visitors
d) taking lots of pictures

They were more than eager to inform everyone what their plans for the day were, even though they were talking to each other.

Usually, I just ignore the hysteria, but these folks... well, they had a smart-mouthed little fucker of a kid who wouldn't hold on to the pole and consequently ended up in my lap. Twice.

And...AND... the cherry on top... they were asking for directions to the World Trade Center site. LOUDLY.

The thought of these obnoxious, laughing people going down there to gawk and take pictures for their moron families and friends back in West Asshat so infuriates me that I can't even say how much.

I hope the magnitude of the damage silences and depresses them for the rest of their stay.

It might be wrong of me, but I think if you're going down there to see it, you should not be so fucking happy about it.

Now I'm depressed. Is it time to drink yet?

Speaking of drinking, I can't wait to go back to the scene of the crime with my favorite gay trio.

I should be dead by midnight, God willing.

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