September 02, 2001 :: 6:34 pm

It's the Basic Food & Beverage Show.

"I loved my grandmother very much, may she rest in peace, but I still believe to this day that she was into hardcore S&M."

"OK, I need to regroup because I'm starting to get bitter."

"This day is dragging like a severely wounded animal."

"That was the most annoying customer ever. Wah, wah, wah, can I have, like, one eigth of a quarter pound of a little bit of pasta?"

"Why is it so fucking hot in here?"
"Because check it out, Beelzebub just walked in."

"I have the most irrational misconception against lesbians. I think that they all smell like kitty litter."

"When two gay guys live together but they aren't going out, but every now and then they fuck, we call that making pancakes."

"The obscenity of opening at 6 AM on Labor Day is only exacerbated by the obscenity of closing at 11 PM."
"That was really articulate."
"It happens when I'm pissed."

"Moe, your breakfast burrito gave me the runs. I need to hold onto the counter or I'll pass out."

God love this job.

earlier / next