2001-03-03 :: 2:14:28 pm

Wound up at Ace Bar last night with Amanda.

Hm. How should I say this stuff? And do I even want to? It's not a matter of people judging me or thinking that I'm out of control. I know I may be making a slow downward spiral of sorts, but this is how I am and this is how I deal.

Many months ago, Rock Star Ex and his band went to play a show in Columbus, Ohio and I joined them for the road trip. Ironically, I met the groupie/slut he was going to cheat on me with at the venue in Columbus. Anyway, there was another New York band that was playing there and earlier in the day, the guy sponsoring the event had a barbecue at his place for all the bands.

So I ended up talking to a certain drummer from said other band during the day and then again after their set that night. We were flirting with each other, I suppose, but nothing ever happened because I was with Rock Star Ex. And I have class and tact and know that cheating on my significant other is wrong, which is more than I can say for some people.

Well, Drummer Boy was at Ace Bar last night and we got to talking and he asked me how things were going with Rock Star Ex and I explained that we were splitsville and then as the evening progressed, and he got soberer and I got drunker, we started admitting that we sort of always thought the other was a cutie.

So flirt flirt, smile smile, blink blink, I went home with him.

And he was a perfect gentleman and lent me stuff to wear and didn't put the moves on me until I decided enough is enough and just kiss me already and it was morning and it was really sweet and a bunch of other stuff that I just don't want to go into detail about and in the afternoon he bought me breakfast at a diner and we talked and it was really nice. A lot nicer than I expected.

He was a little freaked out because the last time he got any action, so to speak, was four months ago and that he's kind of been on a "no random hookups" kind of streak. While I'm not sure I buy that 100%, it was nice to hear. He wasn't disappointed that it happened, blah blah, he had fun, he wants to see me again he liked hanging out with me and there you have it.

I don't know why I was freaking out about writing that.

It's no big deal. I guess part of me feels like it may have been sort of a "revenge tactic" on Rock Star Ex for going out with HH and because he knew that Drummer Boy and I were flirtatious with each other in Ohio, back in May, and I don't like to think that I am that kind of person.

But I guess I am.

Athough I do sincerely like Drummer Boy and I'm happy that we got to spend time together and he's a good kisser whatever and ever, if Rock Star Ex were to find out and be like "I knew it!" or if it made him feel the way I feel about him and HH, then good. I'm sort of glad.

The twisted webs we weave...

I'm going to walk my dog and do my laundry.

earlier / next