2001-03-01 :: 11:34:58am
I feel 12% better.
The reason I panic so much about Rock Star Ex, I figured out, is because I'm really scared that we will disappear from each other's lives. I have this need for him that is unmatched in any other relationship in my life.
Somehow things changed. Years ago, we were able to drop out of each other's circles for months, even a year or two at a time, and then find each other again at some point and hang out like not a day had gone by. I was okay with that back then.
I don't know what's happened to change that for me. I feel this ... urgency, I guess .. like if I let him go this time, he will be gone for good.
That scares me. Because he's so important to me.
This is how it is, however.