04.09.02 :: 11:15 am

He's going on tour for five weeks, starting in June. This is both really exciting and really depressing.

I am trying not to devolve into codependency here but we haven't been apart for longer than a couple of days in over a year.

All nervous and shit because, like Pavlov's dog, the trigger is the word "tour" and the response is anxiety.

Tour = anxiety. Logic should take precedence, but burn me once and I remember it for a long time.

Of course, I have forgiven him for past indescretions, but still. It's always floating around in the back of my mind.

And yes, I know that he would never do that to me again. You cannot reason with an illogical brain.

It's just something I have to learn for myself.

***

Belinda Carlisle's "I Get Weak" is playing on an irritating loop in my head all morning.

Kill me.

earlier / next