12.10.09 :: 8:54 am

Everything you've ever said is recorded in my heart...

Dear Oliver,

A couple days ago you turned 17 months old. And with this came a very real language explosion.
You can say "duck," "bus," "apple," "daddy," "mama," "dog," and what passes for "truck," and "orange."
This all makes for very interesting and awesome conversation.

You are such a grownup little boy now, I can't even believe you're the same creature that writhed and screeched, beet-red and squinty-eyed those first few weeks.

Running, exploring, and playing take up most of our days. Now that winter is here, I don't know how I'm going to entertain you since we can't spend a lot of time outdoors.
You're too young for museums and libraries. Although the fire museum held your interest longer than we ever thought possible: a half hour!!

So yes, obviously you adore fire trucks. Everything in our lives is now fire-truck motif'ed. Toys, jammies, books, pictures, tv shows... it's all got to feature a fire truck or you're not having it.

Can I just tell you, this month you started giving me (and the dog) kisses and I don't know how much more heartbreaking death I can take with you. You've become such a sweet, loving little boy.

Every day you and I go on little adventures; we're like our own private buddy flick. I love that we're friends right now. I love that you light up when you see me and that I can make you laugh.
God knows this will all change faster than I can imagine, but right now this is the best time.

This month, you are going back to LA with Daddy for a week over Christmas and I will miss you very much but the dog can't go into a kennel anymore.
This will be only the second time you and I have ever been apart longer than 4 days.

How strange it will be not to be woken up by your babbling at 6 AM. I almost have no idea what I will do with myself. Almost.

This month you got your first big boy winter coat, and snow boots.
I love you watch you stomp around at the playground. You're still a baby, I know, but you're such a mini little man as well.

You have become such a big fan of books this month. You can entertain yourself for hours just flipping through pages and talking to yourself about what you see.
It's something else watching you get so absorbed in Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? and that book about all the different kinds of wheeled vehicles.

Did I mention that second to fire trucks, wheels are your biggest passion? I love that you need to stop by every truck on the street to point out the wheels.

Basically, kid, I can't get enough of you. I could stare at you all day long. Sometimes, I do. And I collapse dead exhausted at night. You take up every waking thought, every possible corner of my mind.
Everything I thought I cared about before looks like utter garbage next to you.

If there is a higher power, you are the most obvious proof of it.

When you lay face down so I can scratch your back...

This crushing, crushing love.

If this feeling was known to people before having a child, I don't know that we'd survive as a species.

The weight of it all is too much sometimes.

Right now, I can't wait for you to wake up so I can smush my face into your neck.
Ollie Ollie Oxen Free come play with me!

Love,
Mama

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