05.24.02 :: 11:42 am

The cruel folks over at Sallie Mae are dreaming if they think I'm paying $400 a month.

Dreaming. So naturally I panicked and started filling out forms with the embarrassing titles like "FINANCIAL HARDSHIP" and "LAY THE FUCK OFF!" OK, I'm kidding about the second one. But I wish.

Financial security, I have never met you. Are you pretty? I bet you are. I bet you smell like $100 soap and lilies and your arms are pillowy comforting soft goodness.

I'm a go make some sweet, sweet love to the ramen and coupons now. We're moving in together.

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