08.28.07 :: 9:01 am

the good news is that it's all fixable.
Whatever it is that's going on with my reproductives, that is.
And Dr. B is really positive and kind and optimistic.

The bad news is that it's drug time. Clomid.
I guess it's not necessarily a bad thing, per se, if it's going to make getting knocked up any easier.

I'm just a little bit sad that my useless body and brain do not communicate with each other like a normal 32 year old female's would.

And I'm sad that I think it's because I've done this to myself through years of abuse and alcohol.

And I'm also scared to death of the results of my pap. Because I know what's coming.
But Dr. B said that if I felt more comfortable doing any procedure normally done in the office in the hospital under anesthesia, then that would be totally my choice and OK with her.

I basically just need to find some inner strength and bravery. Because I am the ultimate pussy when it comes to matters of ... my pussy.

Anyway.
That's that.

I look forward to a 5% chance of twins.
Go science!

earlier / next