12.14.03 :: 10:53 am

Man, it's just knowing what I know already about the two of them going on vacay together this holiday season, which we all know is pretty much primetime suicide watch, that it's especially difficult to not think about him still because I still got a heart about this no matter how much I try to burn it out with whiskey.

I dreamed his new girlfriend had a beard and he didn't mind.

I dreamed I laughed with Ruby about it and then for some reason we were on an escalator in a glass building and the bearded girlfriend was there and he gazed upon her lovingly.

Just like real life, where I'd see past all his faults.

I feel like I've lost the competition of Who Can Find Love Again First and to tell you the truth, I didn't even want to enter to begin with.

And so what to do. What to do.

I watched Annie Hall last night and it was so right on, and so true, and so exactly what happens in life, and I just hope the wisdom that I'll gain from this torturous, roiling experience will come soon and I can put this all to rest.

Another day, another snowed-in pajama'ed existence. I somehow have to schlep to the laundromat. I'm still operating under the delusion that I have "lucky" underwear.

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