11.04.03 :: 11:10 am

In what will most likely be my last online date in the history of my life ever tonight, I slowly let go my grip on the dim hope that there is a human male out there who honestly gets me.

This revelation, while quite sobering, opens up a lot of free time on my calendar for more grueling ballet classes, and art-making.

Also, booze.

It will not be so bad. Eventually, I won't even be all riled up that my ex has replaced me with the Real Doll equivalent of a woman.

Eventually, I may even reach some kind of nirvana.

And speaking of the Buddha, how long is too long to wait for him to come to me? He said "Beginning of November," and we're creeping into the second week soon.

I doubt I will break down and call him. I might have, months ago, because I was a more hopeful person back then.

Now, I just don't care anymore.

I went to Punk Rock Karaoke last night. I think next week, I'll grow the balls necessary to belt out "Kiss Me Deadly."

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