04.21.09 :: 10:33 pm

today, the entire day, was sponsored in full by pee.

as in: the dog peed in the house four times today, three of which I was present for.

as in: oliver peed on me while I was holding him at the pediatrician's office and he was sans diaper because i was abou to maneuver him onto the examining table and it was So Much Pee that it splashed onto the floor and my shoes and I was just soaked and stinking of urine and this day just couldn't end fast enough.

If I weren't already depressed, this would have thrown me over the edge.

No what did it was coming back from the doctor only to find the dog had shat (and yes obviously peed) in my bedroom and there I was, urine-soaked and scrubbing dog shit off the floor.

Ahhhh, a day without COMPLETE AND TOTAL IMMERSION in piss and shit is a day wasted, I say.

And so I cried. I cried and scrubbed and then I put the baby to bed and had a pint of Bloody Mary.

All this and we now have to deal with the very real possibility that Oliver will need surgery to remove the hemangioma inside his mouth because it's still growing and it might start interfering with his eating.

The prospect of having my little boy in surgery makes me want to throw the fuck up forever.

But it probably won't come to that. Hopefully.

Sigh. My reserves are depleted. I don't know that I have any more energy or brain power necessary to allot the child.
It's been forever since I bought anything for myself.

I think a bang trim and a massage are in order.

But for now, my bed. I'm seeing double.

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