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2001-06-25 :: 11:36 a.m.
So, punk rock! The barbecue went off without a hitch, although I did lose it for a second because I took something personally even though it was intended as a joke and I had been a bunch of raw, open nerves about going to the party in the first place so the first thing just made me panic, you know? Also, it didn't help the HH walked in the door at the very moment I decided to make my exit, so there was nowhere to go but the bathroom. Ha. Composed and ready to deal with real life again after ten minutes, I got out there and mingled. And danced. And generally steered clear of HH because I didn't know if she would be upset or whatever. I think she was upset later on, though. But you know what? Terrible as a human being I may be, I can't care. I can empathize (or is it sympathize?) because I've been where she is right now. But I'm able to keep snarky comments to myself when necessary. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. And that's all I'm sayin' about that, because it's really not important. And, also, forty-six bajillion people read this diary. (C'mon on now, kids. Just say hi already!) Anyfuckingway. Major hurdle: cleared. Sundaygirl acted like a lady and that's all that counts. Something about feeling good that I didn't have to stick by My Boy's side the whole night. Not even when he was talking to HH. Feeling like I've made so much progress since last year. Like I was actually a separate person for the first time, even though we are together. This is good news, no? I panicked for a second, but she squeezed the old hand and made me feel so much better. We're all in this together, somehow. Which is why, I think, my hostility towards HH is simmering down. Ew, fuck. I'm a grown up. In other news, Andy Dick is pure genius.
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