07.24.05 :: 3:02 pm

one of my new rommates had to go and befriend the most annoying person in the building.
Richard. Ugh. Richard. Just saying his name makes me want to crawl inside my own rotting uterus and die.

Richard, he of Not Allowing His Roommates To Use the Dishwasher Because Whatever Stupid Environmentalist Water Lover Or Something.

And now they're playing footsie and giving each other massages on the deck.

I said to her, "Why are you doing this to me? Did you think my life was lacking in Richard before? Because all of a sudden it's the All Richard All The Time channel. I turn around, and there's Richard. I look up - Richard. I sneeze - RICHARD. Every knock on the door triggers my Pavlovian cringing response because it's ALWAYS RICHARD. My entire existence is set to Permanent Richard and I'm thoroughly distraught over this."

She just blinked at me.

I am hoping in time she will see what a douchepump he is and we can move on to normal living once again.

I mean, the guy is convinced he's straight. Ain't nothing more annoying than an anal retentive closeted homosexual.

There is not enough liquor in Brooklyn for me to handle two months of Nonstop Richarding. I am telling you this right now.

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