2001-03-22 :: 10:44 a.m.

I am trying to keep busy because the temptation to call him is huge right now. And I can't explain why. He is so bad for me, we are so wrong together, it is so, so bad for both of us... and yet I find I'm always thinking about my rock star ex. So are we really bad for each other? I think the answer is no, but I don't know how to handle what that means.

And is it even worth my time anymore? Is he worth it?

Drummer Boy didn't call me back last night, but I'm not too worried (yet) because his roommate probably didn't give him the message in the first place. Or he got home really late. Yeah.

I hate behaving this way over the menfolk. It's so ridiculous and boring. Especially at this hour of the morning.

Thanks be to whoever I get paid today because this shit is unreal.

"No, you whatever yourself, whatever whatever."
-Dave Eggers

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